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NEW: Walks Like Rihanna

Having had time to digest that The Wanted’s new single is genuinely entitled ‘Walks Like Rihanna’, that this isn’t all one big joke, and upon the release of the tongue-in-cheek and about 400%-better-than-we-anticipated video, now seems like a good time to subject the song to a popfools review. Our favourite song referencing the pop-girls is The Androids’ ‘Do It With Madonna‘, and this song will have to seriously impress us to become the favourite in this niche-genre.

Nonsensical chants: There is an absolutely lovely ‘oooooh-oooh oh ooooh-ooooh’ affair that gets more involved with the chorus as the song progresses, a cheeky ‘wo-oah’ tucked away in the first verse, and a middle-8 with lots of layering of various different noises (vocals). However, these aren’t as centre-stage as we would like.

Generic or does it sound like a The Wanted single? It sounds very The Wanted in the fact that no other pop boyband would release a song called ‘Walks Like Rihanna.’ However, sonically, the song could be by 1D or even Union J and thus is very generic.

Lyrics any good? The song starts with the clearly well-thought-through ‘Have you seen that girl? Have you seen her? She’s the freakiest thing’. Thankfully, things do pick up a little, and the chorus is actually a well-thought-out ‘She can’t dance, she can’t sing / But who cares – she walks like Rihanna’. We like to think that The Wanted’s songwriters are throwing Rihanna a bit of shade with these lyrics, because the more observant amongst you may have noticed that Rihanna can’t really sing and certainly isn’t the best of dancers either. However it is highly doubtful, if highly pleasant, to imagine The Wanted would dare trash-talk the industry’s favourite popgirl. Plus, there’s no such thing as bad promo. This song will have Rihanna’s name plastered all over the airwaves over summer. Anyway, to sum up, the lyrics are awful apart from the hook. In fact, are we sure The Wanted didn’t think these up themselves? #lads

Production: All very MOR and boring. Nathan should be given more solo lines. Hell, Nathan should be the only one singing in any The Wanted songs. Our favourite bit of production is the breakdown where ‘our hearts go boom-boom’ with the kick drum, followed by it all dropping out for Nathan’s moment of glory. The layering of vocals on the last 30 seconds or so of the song is quite nicely done too.

Any good vocal effects? No

Best-bit: Nathan’s moment of glory at 2:28 – 2:33.

Pop-foolish rating: 5/10 

Verdict: Releases like this can go one of two ways. It may seem to become amazing upon repeated listenings, many of these undoubtedly enforced by heavy rotation on the music channels and various radio stations. More likely however, it will remain forever mediocre. It’s not appalling but there is nothing exciting about it, nothing different to it, and nothing on our spines tingle when we listen to it. It’s average at best. The Wanted can do better, but this will be popular over summer nonetheless.

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