Popfools is on holiday! A lovely, tan-on-the-beach, swim-in-the-sea, and drink-lots-of-cocktails type holiday. So that you still get your Popfools fix over the next fortnight, and to convince ourselves that our holiday is hard-earned and well deserved, this feature will be rating some of the top holiday tunes, in plenty of time before the British summer hits. We have devised and strenuously-tested all new holiday-themed criteria for our best holiday songs to live up to, so hold onto your inflatable fly-fish, because this is going to be a whale of a ride!
We are posting about the Designer Drugs remix because it was the first version of the song we heard and, as often happens, it became to us the definitive version of the song, even after hearing the original mix and the Fred Falke remix. Anyway, as this song may at first glance seem to be a bit of a wild choice for a holiday playlist, we owe it to you to give some context. As explained not-very-well over here, Annie is a Norwegian popfool who often likes not to do things by the book. Anthonio was a stand-alone track which got released in 2009 in envelopes addressed to Anthonio with Norweigen stamps and a ‘return to sender’ mark, plus a (love) letter from Annie to Anthonio, and a picture of Annie with a baby. Anthonio, whilst pertaining to someone specifically for Annie, also stands for any holiday romance ever had, and both the figure of Anthonio, whilst shrouded in mystery, is about raw passion that only a holiday romance manages to conjour up. Perhaps the sun does funny things to our heads; perhaps the sight of foreigners in their beach-wear is too much for us Brits to handle; perhaps the ephemerality of a holiday creates psychological changes in the brain.
References to beach/sea/sun/sand in lyrics?: Yes, there are, although they are minimal. ‘Hearts made in the sand’ and the ‘tide comes rushing in’, plus an observation that ‘summer has gone’ are the only representatives to be found here. 5/10
Steel-drums present? This is an Annie release and thus steel drums would be wildly inappropriate. We literally can’t imagine how an Annie track with steel drums would sound. It’s just plain wrong. Our preferred mix of the song contains many a delicious synth, giving an instant summery feel to the track. Rating: 6/10
Other dodgy ‘holiday’ sound effects?: No, unless you take into account the beat of the song (original version or Fred Falke remix) being like the tide in the way it comes and goes. That is admittedly grasping at straws. Rating: 0/10
Video evoke ‘holiday’? The song doesn’t have a proper video, being an extremely limited-edition and small-scale release. However, the effort Annie went to of packaging the CD, with the envelope, stamp, ‘return to sender’ mark, and hand-written letter, ensure the song scores excellently in this category – the packaging and presentation of the song was amazing. Rating: 10/10
Nonsensical lyrics, preferably holiday-themed? The word ‘oh’ is said a lot, mainly followed by the name ‘Anthonio’. So although ‘oh Anthonio’ could mean a lot of different things, depending on the way the ‘oh’ is uttered, it is certainly not nonsensicial. A shame, as you can normally rely on Annie to bring the nonsensical chants to the table. The remix does repeat sounds to make Annie’s voice almost sound like an instrument, such as ‘time and time again-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti’, or ‘you’re a part of me-me-me-me-me’, but obviously that is not the same as a good old nonsensical chant. Rating: 0/10
Verdict: Is this an ultimate holiday song? The song can be read as a warning against holiday romances. Annie seems to think that everyone has had their Anthonio, but we’re not so sure it’s a universal experience, even though the media would have you believe so. Of course Annie, being a popstar by trade and a popfool by nature, is much more likely to be travelling the world than the average person, and therefore we should not be surprised that she has had such an experience. Would the average holiday-maker have an Anthonio? We’re not so sure. The song is definitely crafted to make Annie seem a little bit crazy and deranged, because she has fallen in love with Anthonio even though she only spent one night with him. She should have known before embarking upon the night of passion how it would end up. Either she is naive or crazy. She asks such questions as ‘did you ever know my name?’ and ‘did you ever really care?’ but these are rhetorical questions; Annie knows the answers. ‘Do you ever feel ashamed? Do you ever feel a thing?’ – is there a reason he should feel ashamed, Annie? Of course, the song ends with a typical and absolutely delightful Annie twist, ‘It may come as a surprise / My baby has your eyes’, which just makes the whole shebang about 500% more amazing. Anyway, the Designer Drugs remix is definitely an ultimate summer song. However, it does limp to the finish line, scoring a measly 21/50. Will any of our other cherry-picked ultimate holiday anthems score lower? Keep reading popfools to find out…
The Popfools Ultimate Holiday Playlist (Ranked)
The Cheeky Girls – Hooray Hooray (It’s A Cheeky Holiday) 53
Alphabeat – Vacation 37
Annie – Anthonio (Designer Drugs Remix) 21