Popfools is on holiday! A lovely, tan-on-the-beach, swim-in-the-sea, and drink-lots-of-cocktails type holiday. So that you still get your Popfools fix over the next fortnight, and to convince ourselves that our holiday is hard-earned and well deserved, this feature will be rating some of the top holiday tunes, in plenty of time before the British summer hits. We have devised and strenuously-tested all new holiday-themed criteria for our best holiday songs to live up to, so hold onto your inflatable fly-fish, because this is going to be a whale of a ride!
Beenie Man is a local celebrity in his native Jamaica, with about a billion number ones to his name. Ms. Thing could be anyone. Together they combine their forces for the good of our holiday playlist in creating this amazing jam, which shockingly reached a UK #7 once upon a time in 2004. It’s time for ‘Dude’ to do battle in the popfool ultimate holiday anthem contest.
References to beach/sea/sun/sand in lyrics?: We’re counting 6, but they are all references of Ms. Thing being tied to a fan (ooh-err missus), which we’re counting because if it wasn’t hot then why would Beenie Man have a fan lying about? Well? 5/10
Steel-drums present? Yes, they very much are. Perfect. Ideal. Marvellous We feel like we’re on the beach already. (At the time of writing this, we’re still over a week away from our holiday) Rating: 15/10
Other dodgy ‘holiday’ sound effects?: The reggae influenced beat is immediately recognisable as ‘holiday’ so that, by the time those amazing steel-drums come in, we already know what’s coming. But there is a distinct lack of naff effects. Rating: 5/10
Video evoke ‘holiday’? Beenie Man is wearing a neon-shaded tank-top, which immediately evokes ‘holiday’ to us. He is sat playing some sort of board game (?!) and rolling a die, elements that speak ‘holiday’ to us – who plays board games other than on holidays? Ms. Thing is wearing some sort of string-featuring attire which would look best on the beach. Rating: 5/10
Nonsensical lyrics, preferably holiday-themed? The song is all about Beenie Man ‘nailing’ Ms. Thing and thus this is the one and only thing the lyrics relate to us, just in case the extreme grinding in the video wasn’t relaying the message well enough. The holiday theme is distinct only in its absence. Rating: 0/10
Verdict: Is this an ultimate holiday song? Steel-drums and reggae-beat are a go go, but sadly a lack of the song actually pertaining to holiday despite our best wishes for it means it can only muster 30/50.
The Popfools Ultimate Holiday Playlist (Ranked)
The Cheeky Girls – Hooray Hooray (It’s A Cheeky Holiday) 53
Alphabeat – Vacation 37
New Kids On The Block – Summertime (RedOne Remix) 36
Beenie Man – Dude (ft. Ms Thang) 30
Annie – Anthonio (Designer Drugs Remix) 21