Popfools is on holiday! In fact, we’ve been sunning ourselves for a week now. That means that you, our loyal and popfoolish readers, deserve an extra special treat today. So we’re putting not one but TWO holiday anthems to the popfoolish test in order to see how suitable they are for inclusion in our ultimate holiday playlist. Better still, both songs come from our favourite Dutch popfools and yours, the Vengaboys! Oh yes, so hold on to your inflatable fly-fish once again as this will be a bumpy ride!!
The Vengaboys, known for big boobs, skimpy outfits and tacky videos. But their achievements are much more than this. Their particular brand of eurodance conquered the globe, making them one of the most successful popfoolish bands ever known to the planet earth. Yes, The Vengaboys will always hold a special place in our hearts, but rules are rules and so let’s get on with it and see if their songs are good enough to scale the heights of our ultimate holiday playlist.
References to beach/sea/sun/sand in lyrics?:
Ibiza: A stunning 43 references. Yes, we’ve included ‘fly’, and other associated words such as ‘airport’ and ‘airways’ in that, because the only time you really fly is when you’re going on holiday, unless you’re some super-important business person. We’ve included Ibiza too because, really, Ibiza is an ultimate holiday destination. Rating: 20/10
Jamaica: An equally amazing 32 references. We have included ‘ticket’ as it seems a vital part of going on holiday. Rating: 15/10
Ibiza: Yes, they are, and the song wouldn’t be the same without them. Rating: 10/10
Jamaica: They are, although they take longer to properly kick in than we’d like. Finally, at around 2:29, our itch is scratched. And delectable it sounds. Rating: 12/10
Other dodgy ‘holiday’ sound effects?
Ibiza: The sound of the PA system as ‘Captain Kim’ speaks to the passengers. The fact that she comes in at the middle 8 to speak to the passengers upon landing is amazing; as if the intro wasn’t amazing enough! Rating: 10/10
Jamaica: The tick (and finally bells) of the alarm clock and the traffic ‘beeping’ noise at the start are very welcome, but we can’t really spy any other dodgy holiday sound effects. Rating: 5/10
Video evoke ‘holiday’?
Ibiza: Cartoon Kim is in a lovely bikini and the aeroplane screeches ‘holiday’ to us. At one point cartoon Kim is on a sun lounger with parasols in the background. She also windsails at one point. There is a beaming sun. There are palm trees and a beach. Bonus points for ‘venga-inn’ and ‘venga-light’. The cartoon looks very basic in 2013 but this was cutting edge in 1999!! Rating: 7/10
Jamaica: Yes, from Kim being held by swimsuit-clad revellers above a swimming pool to the ‘slutty holiday maid’ outfit the girls wear, this video does NOT disappoint. Palm trees, sun, shirtless Yorick, bikini-clad Kim and Denise, tank-top attired Roy, and an appearance by actual Uncle John!! The video’s plotline is sadly confused though; clearly the gang aren’t working in a hotel in Jamaica in the narrative of the song – they need to get AWAY from the gritty nine-to-five TO Jamaica. Yet the two elements are combined in the video. Oh well. Rating: 10/10
Nonsensical lyrics, preferably holiday-themed?
Ibiza: ‘Eeee-ooooh’ ‘oooh-weh-oh’ and those epic ‘woah’s. 10/10
Jamaica: A favourite in ‘oh no no no’ there is also the extremely-holiday-themed ‘holi-holiday’ and an absolutely orgasmic ‘na na na na na na na HEEEEY HEY’. Also, the lyrics as a whole are deliciously nonsensical; you hate your job and your pesky Uncle John rings you every day to tell you to go on holiday. BANANAS. 15/10
IBIZA: This is the ultimate holiday anthem, there is no denying that. It scores an outstanding 57/50 and has beat the Cheeky Girls down into second place! Will Uncle John fare any better though…?
JAMAICA: The song does let us popfools down on a couple of minor points, but nonetheless it scores an admirable 57/50 to go joint top with Ibiza!
Who would have thought that The Vengaboys bonanza would result in both their tracks steaming their way to the top of our Ultimate Holiday Playlist? It just proves that the competition is still wide-open as we head into week two of our ultimate holiday playlist feature.
The Popfools Ultimate Holiday Playlist (Ranked)
The Vengaboys – We’re Going To Ibiza 57
= The Vengaboys – Uncle John From Jamaica 57
The Cheeky Girls – Hooray Hooray (It’s A Cheeky Holiday) 53
Peter Andre – Mysterious Girl 46
Alphabeat – Vacation 37
New Kids On The Block – Summertime (RedOne Remix) 36
Beenie Man – Dude (ft. Ms Thang) 30
Annie – Anthonio (Designer Drugs Remix) 21