In the way of the sometimes psychic world of pop, we were planning to write a good old feature on Miley Cyrus, including a bit about why she is a fairly great popstar, and a bit about what we would like from her next. However, before we knew it we were sunning ourselves on the beach in Turkey, and now we find ourselves in the current position that Miley’s new song with her new record label has ‘dropped’.
Things we like about the song:
– SHE’S JUST BEING MILEY! We absolutely adore how Miley always namechecks icons of pop in her songs. ‘Party in The USA’ had that epic ‘and the Britney song was on / and the Britney song was ooooooooooooooo-oooo-onnnnnnn’ bit, even if Miley changed it first time round to name Jay-Z rather than Britney in a cynical attempt to show she is hip and down with the kids. And of course, who can forget probably the most iconic lyric from any Disney star ever: ‘MY BEST FRIEND LESLEY SAID “OH SHE’S JUST BEING MILEY”‘. References to best friend Lesley AND referring to yourself in the third person. Only a Queen would dare pull such an outrageous maneuver. Anyway, she’s back at the whole third-person thing in this song, and a lot of fun it is too when it comes round: ‘So la da di da di / we like to party / dancing with Miley’. This is lyrics of perfection right here folks.
– The fact that Miley has changed it up a bit. We absolutely adore the electropop that Miley was flogging with ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ but a return with the same sound would not only have been lazy but also horrifically dated in a post EDM-takeover landscape. We also absolutely adore ‘Party In The USA’ but realistically if Miley wants to have a credible career (which she does) then she knows she can’t relentlessly churn out Katy Perry-esque megahits such as ‘Party In The USA’ long-term. It would be an easy option for her which would probably gain her mediocre sales and increase her popularity, but it wouldn’t artistically satisfy our Mileybird.
– The ‘YEAAAAAH-YEAAAAAH-YEAAAAAAAAH’ bit at 3:00. Firstly, what a perfect time for such a moment. Everybody knows the perfect pop song is 3:30 in length. Secondly, its execution is ideal, with just a very light hint of auto-tune. Therefore, for such a gorgeous vocal to hit at 3:00 EXACTLY is just glorious.
– Some nice ‘oooooh-ooooh’ing from Miley in the intro.
– Can we just emphasise the sheer brilliance of the ‘LA DA DI DA DI WE LIKE TO PARTY DANCING WITH MILEY’ bit again?
Things we don’t like about the song:
– Miley sounds extremely nasal to the degree that you can’t actually fathom out what she is singing around 45% of the time. Britney normally has the perfect percentage of nasal to non-nasal vocals (we’re kindly overlooking the majority of the awfully produced nightmare that was Femme Fatale) and Miley needs to learn a lesson from her older and wiser sister, and pronto.
– Most of the lyrics are absolutely atrocious. Whilst we can see a glimmer of merit in lines such as ‘it’s our party we can do what we want’, when lines such as ‘Forget the haters cos somebody loves ya’ hit in, it’s just a massive cringefest for all involved. The ‘we can’t stop / and we won’t stop’ thing also sounds so lazy, dated, boring and clichéd that even will.i.am would turn up his nose at it.
– “Controversial” Cyrus. Miley, we are not here for ‘Oooooh LOOK AT ME I DO DRUGS I’M SO COOL HAHAHAHAHA’. No. Just no. Hhence the lyric ‘And everyone in line in the bathroom / Trying to get a line in the bathroom’ is unnecessary in so many ways. Apart from reminding us of the popworld’s worst EVER rhyme (Pitbull rhyming Kodak with… Kodak), it’s just like WHO CARES?! Miley, the song is about you letting your hair down at a party with your gurls. Do what you want. We don’t care. But don’t be all like ‘I do coke me!’ Firstly we don’t care. Secondly it’s glamorisation of drugs. Thirdly, you’re still a role model to the millions of girls who first met you as Hannah Montana. Fourthly, do you want to end up like LiLo? Fifthy, we can’t help thinking this is just a relatively lame attempt by your label at drumming up publicity for you because they’re worried about what you are and who you will appeal to. We don’t have a problem with drugs in the sense that we think people can do what they want to do, but flaunting it in such a way as in this song just really doesn’t sit right with us.
– The intro. What is that about? other than sounding very 2006, it also sounds very Mariah Carey. Miley, you might share the same initials, but you are not Mariah and your songs should not bear even the slightest similarity to how a Mariah Carey song sounded back in 2006.
– Miley blatantly thinking she’s a bit of a gangster ie. ‘can I get a hell no’ and lots of ‘hey – hey – hey – hey’s and general other shouting in the background of the mix.
VERDICT: Despite our problems with ‘We Can’t Stop’ as outlined above, we are enjoying the song more than we enjoy most songs. We think realistically when all is said and done the song will end up as a 7/10. Presently, however, the novelty of the song and some new Miley Cyrus material boosts its popfoolish rating to an 8/10.