From The Archive

From The Archives: 2012 Top Songs, Part II

In time-honoured tradition December is the month that a ‘best singles of the year’ post must be made and ours will go online in due course. As popfools has only existed since 2013, we thought we’d bring you some archive footage in the meantime to share with you our favourite singles from previous years.

2012 Top Songs

Originally posted 27th December 2012. Edited for publication December 2013.
Primadonna

15. Marina & The Diamonds – Primadonna
The ‘surefire hit’ from her album, crafted by Dr Luke especially to crack the top 5 and make her big in America, inexplicably underperfomed commercially, something Marina won’t be too happy about. But she can cheer herself up by knowing it snuck into my top 15 songs of the year.

Highlights of the song:
Everything. Especially Marina’s delivery. Flawless, again.
Lowlights of the song:
There are none. This should have been a UK #1. For a month. Consecutively. It’s one of few songs that sounds better on the radio than it does as an mp3.
Best lyric:
‘You say that I’m kind of difficult, but it’s always someone else’s fault.’

Florence Spec14. Florence + The Machine – Spectrum (Say My Name) (Calvin Harris Remix)
We must make it clear from the outset that we are talking about the Calvin Harris Remix only. The original ‘Spectrum’ is a crime against music and makes our ears bleed for hours after listening to the smallest snippet.

Highlights of the song:
It’s all about Calvin’s beats.
Lowlights of the song:
Florence’s wailing. Even turned up to full banshee mode, it thankfully doesn’t manage to ruin Calvin’s sick production.
Best lyric:
The lyrics aren’t good at all.
Nicki Starships

13. Nicki Minaj – Starships
Every once in a while, about once a year give or take, a song so big – so transcendental – comes along that you forget to appreciate that said song is brilliant because it has appeared everywhere, bloody everywhere throughout the year. ‘Starships’ is one such song. It is easy to forget that ‘Starships’ was only released this year. It is hard to imagine a world without ‘Starships’. A world without ‘Starships’ wouldn’t really be a world worth living in. This song epitomises all that is good about the Minaj, all that is good about RedOne, and all that can be good about pop music. It is awesome.

Highlights of the song:
The intro.
‘Let’s go to the beach-each.’
‘Twinkle-twinkle little star.’
‘Cray-cray-cray’
EVERYTHING!!!
Lowlights of the song:
Unnecessary use of the word ‘motherfucker.’
The line ‘fuck who you want and fuck who you like.’
Best lyric:
‘Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop, I own that / And I ain’t paid my rent this month, I owe that.’
Blow Me12. P!nk – Blow Me (One Last Kiss)
P!nk, in a similar to Kelly Clarkson, is somewhat pigeonholed in terms of the type of song she is expected to release. And, like Kelly Clarkson, her A&R always decide to go with the public’s expectations rather than challenge them. So, whilst many derided this as yet another one of P!nk’s tacky break-up songs, we personally just laid back and enjoyed the song for what it was. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but that’s fine. Sometimes, particularly when it is executed as well as this, simplicity in pop is best.

Highlights of the song:
Everything.
Lowlights of the song:
The chanted ‘YEAHS’ in the background on the ‘shit day’ part – they are boring, futile, and 100% crap.
Why does P!nk always swear in her songs? Is it her way of being ‘edgy?’ It’s unnecessary.
Best lyric:
‘I think I maybe think too much.’
Also ‘I think you’re full of shit.’
Something New11. Girls Aloud – Something New
We made an extremely detailed post on this a while ago. Hence, all we have to add is that it is a grower, and we stand completely by our ‘this is what a Girls Aloud single sounds like in 2012’ sentiment. Basically, it’s not as brilliant as vintage Girls Aloud, but it’s still not bad, in an 11th-best-song-of-the-year kind of way.

Highlights of song:
‘Take a walk on the WIIIIIILLD SIIIDEEEE’ aka Sarah’s screechy bit.
Its relentlessness, its ferocity, its desire never to give up.
Its video with much Nadine-crazy-eye action (‘We girls gonna run this run this’).
Any bit sung by Nadine.
Lowlights of song:
Too much Cheryl.
Not as good as it should have been.
Shit lyrics.
Best lyric:
”Ah-ah.’ Haven’t you ever been so lost for words you can’t say anything but ‘AH AH’? Post-postmodern wonderfulness in a 1 second component of a song.
Cant Say No

10. Conor Maynard – Can’t Say No
When we first heard the beat to this song, we actually thought it was lifted from ‘#STUPiDFACEDD’, a song by spoof-rap act Wallpaper. Whilst it isn’t a direct lift, or even very similar on closer inspection, it is “sick”. It is such an amazing beat! Let’s face it, this song’s placing is all about the beat and not at all about Conor Maynard, his voice, his personality… Poor Conor. We just don’t like the idea of you as a popstar very much.

Highlights of song:
The beat.
Feeble attempts to paint Conor Maynard as some sort of sex-God.
Laughable euphemism for a penis (‘They send my rocket to the sky.’)
The song as a whole
Lowlights of song:
Pathetic lyricism.
Conor Maynard fronting this song.
Best Lyric:
“I’m like ‘Houston, I think we’ve got a problem’”. Note how for this lyric to make any sense whatsoever extra quotation marks must be inserted. When Conor says “I’m like” – is he saying his thought out loud to the honeyz in the club, or is it kept in his head for him alone to treasure? Are we overthinking this?

Sam Womp09. Sam and the Womp – Bom Bom
We’re not entirely sure who Sam is, but we like their ‘Womp’ very much. This song has it all and then some. Ridiculous trumpets. Ridiculous lyrcis, but in a self-depreciating way, not in a ‘Conor Maynard sex god’ kind of way. Ridiculous vocalist. Ridiculous video. OH IT IS SO AMAZING and so we go BOM BOM. It’s refreshing to hear a different genre of music on the radio, and even more delighting for this madness to hit UK number one. The song’s strength and appeal lies in its universal silliness.

Highlights of song:
The vocals. It sounds a bit like an updated version of Luciana. AMAZING.
Of course, everything else is also a song highlight. It’s all amazing.
Lowlights of the song:
‘Sam and the Womp.’ The ensemble’s name makes it difficult to like them.
Best lyric: “I want sixteen pints of rum and then I go BOM BOM” – quite. Don’t we all after sixteen pints of rum.

Nothing At All
We loved Aiden’s debut album, ‘Misty Eye’, despite not liking him very much when he appeared on X Factor, signs on Twitter that he is a ‘#lad’, and the fact that 4 songs on it were not so good. Nevertheless, this was the best non-single from the album. We’ve reconfigured the album in our iTunes to make this the last track of the album, as we think it is much better suited to that position than ‘Curtain Call’.

Highlights of the song:
The lady who ‘woah’s throughout the chorus. We wonder if that’s Labrinth’s sister again, since it was her who warbled on Aiden’s ‘Curtain Call’.
The ending of the song with a weird spoken bit. We’re not sure if it’s a quote from a film but it reminds us of a track by The Sound of Arrows and that is a good thing.
Lowlights of song:
Nothing at all.
Best lyric:
“Too long since I held you all wrong…”
Gimme Madge

07. Madonna featuring Nicki Minaj and MIA – Give Me All Your Luvin’
We hate songs which, in vain attempts to be Down With The Kidz, self-consciously misspell words like Luvin’, especially when the artist concerned is in her 50s. Let’s credit Madge, though, for at least it’s not titled ‘Gimme All Your Luvin’. That would have been the straw that broke the camels back. Anyway this song is bonkers in a fantastic way. The beat is sick. MIA is sick. Even Minaj is sick. It shouldn’t work, it really really shouldn’t, but it does.

Highlights of the song:
‘L-U-V (MADONNA) Y-O-U (YOU WANNA).’
The video.
Pom-poms.
Cheerleaders.
Nicki’s rap.
Madonna in her 50s releasing things like this.
Self-referential nature with mention of ‘Lucky Star’ and general MADONNA chants.
Lowlights of song:
We don’t much like MIA’s feature rap, however we do like her LUV and YOU bits so we begrudgingly tolerate her on the track.
Best lyric:
‘L-U-V (MADONNA!) Y-O-U (YOU WANNA).’ We love popstars spelling out letters of things. We love the absurdity of a song with chants from ‘lessers’ (MIA and Nicki) to the public that we must love (“LUV”) Madge, with MADONNA shouted in case nobody knew who we were meant to be loving. Nuts.

DNA06. Little Mix – DNA
Despite us having some reservations about the message of the song to impressionable pre-teen Little Mix fans (‘He’s a man so he’s a cheating skank cos all men are cheating skanks LOL #girlpower2012’), we are at the end of the day a slave to good pop music. This song has everything a Very Good pop song should have.

Highlights of the song:
The intro with the heart-bleep.
The operatic breakdown.
The video.
‘D-D-D-DNA.’
The ‘Get Sexy’ style rap before the operatic breakdown.
Production of the song.
Harmonies. Girlbands haven’t sounded this good in far too long.
Lowlights of the song:
As already stated, we completely object to and disagree with the song’s underlying message.
The butchered version Kiss FM were playing. It must be the 3:56 version.
Best lyric:
‘It’s simple genetics,’ pronounced very weirdly in order to rhyme with connects.
‘I’m the X to his Y’ – thanks for the Biology lesson, Little Mix.
Beauty Beat05. Justin Bieber featuring Nicki Minaj – Beauty and a Beat
We know many people will view this song and these artists as the absolute worst sound one could afflict their eardrums with in 2012. We are by no means fans of either artist. Yet we pride ourselves on not being biased against good music because of who made it. This song is just sublime to our ears. In addition to this are two rather long winded anecdotes which resulted in us becoming megafans of the song. They involve an empty dancefloor and a pair of split trousers, respectively. All we’re saying is this song is very enjoyable to dance along to.

Highlight of the song:
‘Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I need, is a beauty and a beat, who can make my life compl-eeeeeeeee-eeeeete. It’s alllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, bout you….’
Nicki’s line referencing Selena.
Lowlight of the song:
Nicki Minaj’s strange, irritating grunt after the Selena line.
Best lyric:
‘Show you off, tonight I wanna show you off.’

Curtain Call

04. Aiden Grimshaw – Curtain Call
This song was definitely a grower. We remember when we first heard it. We were distinctly underwhelmed. After about the 5th listen, though, its subtle brilliance started to emerge. We think this song deserved to see great chart success.

Highlights of the song:
The bits sung by Labrinth’s sister.
Aiden’s voice.
The beats.
The production.
Aiden’s voice.
The video.
Aiden’s voice.
Lowlights of the song:
We first thought that Aiden sung the high-pitched bits on the chorus, aka the bits sung by Labrinth’s sister. If he had, that would have been bloody incredible.
Best lyric:
‘Take my hand and follow me, lose control with me tonight’
Hottest Girl03. JLS – Hottest Girl In The World
A JLS song that sounds like a Justin Timberlake single circa 2003 doesn’t sound like a great idea on paper. Sometimes, paper can be wrong, as can the chart-buying public. We can’t explain why this song is so good. It just is.

Highlights of the song:
The intro.
The beats.
Lowlights of the song:
None.
Best lyric:
‘I could be your Mr Right, or I could be your Mr Right now.’

State of Dreaming02. Marina & The Diamonds – State of Dreaming
Perfection.

Highlights of the song:
Everything.
Lowlights of the song:
Nothing.
Best lyric:
‘Millions of girls float on their one quote’ : Marina’s ice-queen like delivery turns this line into one of the saddest things we’ve ever known.
is this love

01. Aiden Grimshaw – Is This Love
This song was not what you’d have expected as a lead single from any artist to come out from X Factor, let alone from Aiden Grimshaw. The pulsing beats, the soaring melody, the grimy-ness injected by the dubstep; but most importantly, making this track absolutely incredible, Aiden’s vocals.

Highlights of the song:
Everything.
Lowlights of the song:
Nothing.
Best Lyric:
‘Sometimes we all want out.’

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One thought on “From The Archives: 2012 Top Songs, Part II

  1. Pingback: Popfools – From The Archives: 2012 Top Songs Part II | Aiden News - Unofficial Fan Site

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