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NEW: Kelly Clarkson – Heartbeat Song

Just yesterday in the bath we were rocking out to Kelly Clarkson anthems ‘My Life Would Suck Without You‘, which turned exactly 5 years old today, and ‘(What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You) Stronger‘. It was at this point that we realised that Kelly Clarkson had been missing for too long. But as she returns, is the new single any good?

kelly-clarkson-greatest-hits-promo-photo
Kelly Clarkson – Heartbeat Song

We suppose there are positives here. The ‘up-up-up-up’ is a nice detail. The verses sound OK, although in a post Taylor Swift taking over the popworld landscape, they aren’t packed with enough sass. The song sounds familiar, and that’s thanks in no small part to some sort of ‘reinterpretation’ of epic Jimmy Eat World anthem ‘The Middle‘. But Clarkson’s version, slower paced, seems to gently meander. We also hear touches of ‘Catch My Breath‘, which itself was hardly Clarkson’s finest moment.

VERDICT: 3/10. Must try harder. After such a long absence, the heart should have grown fonder. Yet our love instead seems to have withered thanks to this mediocre effort from Team Clarkson. As we hinted at above, Taylor Swift has somewhat grabbed the market for sassy ‘I’m fine thanks for asking, better off without you actually’ pop, and Kelly simply needs to respond. This boring brand of pop is unlikely to win her any new fans, and may just lose her some of her old ones. When Kelly’s good she’s excellent, but when she’s bad she’s just kind of there in the background, whilst Lorraine Kelly tragically jiggles around. We’re sorry for making you watch that. We just needed someone to share the trauma with.

Perhaps it’s a grower, but we fear it’s an absolute stinker. If it’s all the same to you, we’d rather listen to The Futurehead’s ‘Heartbeat Song’ thanks, Kelly.

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